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Dr. Debbie McFarland 1863 East High Avenue, Rear New Philadelphia, OH. 44663 330-308-5599 Consults, chiropractic, blood/ hair/ urine/ DNA/ toxins/ Allergies testing, PRAYER, core muscle testing and strengthening. It is worth the plane trip and a 5 day stay!!! Helped so many with disc/ TMJ/Carpal Tunnel Syndrome / Knees / shoulders / hip and other issues Can do internet consults for $40 with nutrition products shipped to your door. Healthcare with the Holy Spirit and lots of love ~
Not afraid of challenges and you are worth it.
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Monday, 08 June 2009
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Affordable Alternative Health Fair
This is a creative approach to promoting Natural Health in our region. Though the patients are regional, there are many services, products and idea that are of great benefit to those seeking natural health care approaches. My goal is to make this assessible to the general public in an easy to use format with sources that I trust. What this means is no matter where you are in the world, thanks to the internet you can virtually be a part of this Health Fair or better yet, come and be a part as a provider or a sponser.
Location: 1863 East High Avenue, Rear
New Philadelphia, OH











330-308-5599
drdebbieonline@gmail.com
This is going to be from 10 to 4.
Some details:
Wanted to let you know about this heath fair I am having at my office.
Because I have just completed by Diplomate in Acupuncture and decided to have an open house. While considering all the things that I do that I want to show others, I realized that most people have no idea what alternative health is, much less that it is to only affordable but can make a huge difference in their lives. So I decided to extend the open house into a Health Fair - specifically for alternative health care providers. Along with this we will be raising money for our local "Dress A Child" - they help give vouchers for those who qualify to purchase school clothes. With the economy the way it is, this is close to my heart. Last year they had to turn away kids and this year is not any better.
I am making up 500 "Passports to natural health". They will want to keep these as there will be their kids finger prints in them, practical advice like how to shop healthy at Walmart, packing a smart lunch for your child - if you have anything like that, put it in also. Trying to keep it to one or 2 per provider.
They will also have examination findings in this packet so it is not just glorified trash.
I am going to blitz this everywhere.We already have a full page color ad in the "Outreacher" - a Christian monthly newspaper that has a distribution of 10,000. Also, the night before is a Rodeo. Our flyer will be in their programs. Will have placements made up for the mall food court and local restaurants. Because this is a fundraiser will have this in the paper as well.
We plan on having a good variety of alternative health care providers speak for apx. 30 minutes on 'How You Can have Affordable Alternative Health Care', geared towards all ages. There will be workshops showing how to easily incorporate this type of lifestyle into their daily routine.
Our professional guest list includes but not limited to:
* Dietitian - What we eat
* Nutritionist - Affordable supplements and how to determine what we need.
* Exercise Therapist
* Massotherapy
* Mental health speaker
* Chiropractor
* Acupunture
* Brain remapping to change thinking patterning
We are planning to have the following activities for FREE to attendees:
* Fingerprinting by the Police Department
* Eye Exams
* Spinal Screening
* Blood Pressure Screening
* Dental Screening (not confirmed yet)
* Hearing Screenings (not confirmed yet)
* Hair Cuts for Kids
* Face Painting
* Balloon Twisting
* Horse Rides (small donation requested but no child will be turned down)
Would like to have some of the providers hold small practical workshops within their area of expertise.
If you would like to be a speaker, please let us know.
There will also be food and games. We are looking for volunteers for the following activities, if you or someone you know would be interested in one of these positions we would greatly appreciate your help. In return for volunteering we would welcome and encourage you to wear your business apparel to promote your business as you work your stations. Also, if there are other natural health care providers/vendors that you feel would want to participate in this fair, please forward this to them with our blessings.
I am also including website links of those who desire to promote their businesses virtually. Right now I am in the process of making a website to promote this as well as your business. Videos of the speakers will be on the website permanently as well as your links. Because of the value of these speakers, I will continually promote this site to my patients and your potential clients.
Donations for the cost are accepted at PayPal, my account is drdeb@wilkshire.net A compete list of how all funds are spent will be available on the website www.drdebbieonline.org to be online in a few days. For references please ask.
This is a big deal to me and very close to my heart. With all the miracles I see with Natural Health Care - as well as helping families with very limited income be able to buy school clothes - I am asking you to be a part.
Wednesday, 04 June 2008
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Skin Cancer: Boost immune system
The first thing you need to do is clean house.
There are 5 major systems of elimination:
Hope this helps. I recommend a specific brand because right now it is the most economical AND effective that I know and TRUST. I personally take or have taken many of the things I am recommending and they have helped me.
Skin
Colon
Liver
Lymphatics
Kidneys
All these need to be detoxified, cleaned out. That alone will help your immune system tremendously.
You also need to cleanse for parasites.
Here are some products I would recommend, use only once for each bout of detox (like every 6 months or so) I wouldn’t do them all at one time, these are like 10 to 28 day programs. I suggest the order I have put them in:
$45.50 Clean Start: Strengthens waste filtering, supports natural elimination (mostly for colon – good digestion is the first step to good health)
$17.25 Paracleanse – kills parasites in your gut, leaves good ones alone
$14.25 Enviro-detox: Detoxs all major systems.
$11.95 Yeast/Fungal detox
$12.95 Lymph gland – want to target these for cancer
$11.85 Liver cleanse – Target to make sure that this is really clean. Liver cleans out a lot
$12.95 All cell detox
They have a couple of immune system products.
I recommend:
$31.45 Immune Stimulator
$16.10 Trigger Immune, Chinese
Because skin is your biggest issue I would stay on this:
$20.45 Ayurvedic skin detox
Also very important is vitamins/minerals/omega 3’s and super antioxidents;
$49.95 Super trio has all of these, I take this every day
www.naturessunshine.com my number that you will need is 2210184-3 Will show retail prices, I quoted wholesale. When you purchase $40 just one time on your first purchase, you will get wholesale prices. Anytime in a month if you spend more than $100 you get 10% back so If you are close to $100 you might as well go over and get a check back the next month.
Go to my website: www.xanga.com/druglesshealthdoc If you use the tags you will find a ton of good advice on a ton of subjects.
Things you probably already know but I want to stress:
1. Drink a lot of good water
2. Ginger and peppermint teas are great detoxers
3. Avoid caffeine including green tea and black tea
4. Avoid sugar and sugar substitutes, stevia is ok and limited honey
5. Avoid dried fruits including raisens
6. Stay away from anything processed including lunch meats, soy based meatless whatever, turkey bacon and pre-sliced cheese.
7. No hydrogenated fats (fried anything from fast foods or Crisco
8. Avoid wheat and dairy – allergens and irritants
9. Eat lots of: raw or lightly steamed veggies, especially dark green leafy lettuce, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, artichokes, leeks, peppers (red is better), cabbage, brussel sprouts, carrots, celery, cucumbers, radishes and ginger. Raw, organic berries, papaya, mango, red grapes, apricots, peaches and apples. In moderation eat: raw, unsalted almonds and/or walnuts in mid morning and again in mid afternoon. Other cleansing foods are Arugula, garlic and pineapple.
10. Cleansing spices: Curry, dill, fennel, ginger, Nettle, Paprika, parsley, tarragon and turmeric.
Obviously soaking in prayer is very helpful and crucial!
Soaking in Epsom salts helps to detox also and helps relax your body.
Small amounts of wine is relaxing to your body and soul J
Friday, 30 May 2008
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Maybe you might need to DETOX if....
you have any experiences that the person in this forever forwarded hilarious writing on the residual effects chili. I will be writing in the future on Detox / Cleansing and Colon in Crises.
Chili....Brings a Tear to Your EyeI went grocery shopping recently, while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You're definitely going to mess yourself up chili."Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning. Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not s ure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.
Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go!" pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time.
The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly envelop ed in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move, for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?
Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman, but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course , made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh.
Mistake. Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things "clamped down", if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw, an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly, things were no longer funny.
IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way,
praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor ole gal walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe". she made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, "O h My God!", then quickly left. Once finished, I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping, when a store employee approached me and said, "Ma'm, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two, which ought to take care of the problem." That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling her shirt up to cover her nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, "IT'S YOU!", then ran off, returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
Sunday, 18 May 2008
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walk this way
Walking
By Dr. Debbie McFarland
To tread, march and proceed
To move forward
To lead, to enter
To carry away
To prosper, pursue or to depart.
There is a lot of walking noted in the bible and it is not all due to the absence of motorized vehicles.
In Genesis the Lord said to Abram to walk though the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee. Now if that were me I would be putting some mileage on them shoes.
The word talks of how Abram was to walk before the Lord, speaking of his character and actions.
In Exodus we are exhorted to walk in the law of the Lord and not in the ways of the world.
Of course the 3 most famous walks in my opinion area:
Adam walked with the Lord in the cool of the day.
Enoch walked with the Lord and was no more.
The walk to the cross by our precious Lord and Saviour.
Then of course there is the walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
The million person walk started through the Red Sea followed by the very long 40 year walk in the wilderness.
The power walk is found in Joel 2:7 They shall run like mighty men; they shall climb the wall like men of war and they shall march/walk every one on his ways, and they shall not break their ranks.
On that note I want to encourage you to walk as a might warrior of the Lord Almighty, to walk in His ways, with Him in the cool of the day, to walk in victory and walk in the territory that the Lord has set before you. If your enemy asks you to walk one mile, be sure to walk that extra mile with the joy of the Lord.
The great thing about walking is that you can start at any time, don’t need anything special, can go at your own rate and it costs nothing! And the benefits start immediately!!!!
Benefits of walking:
· You can reduce your breast cancer risk by as much as 25% through regular moderate intensity exercise, such as brisk walking. One exciting study showed the risk reduction for developing breast cancer before menopause. The other showed that staying active after menopause reduced the risk through the rest of your life.
- Reduce your risk of a heart attack. Walking keeps your heart healthy by lowering low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol (the "bad" cholesterol) and raising high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol (the "good" cholesterol). A regular walking program also reduces your risk of developing high blood pressure, a factor that also contributes to heart disease.
- Manage your blood pressure. If you already have high blood pressure, walking may reduce it.
- Reduce your risk of developing type 2 diabetes. Regular exercise reduces your risk of developing type 2 diabetes. If you're a woman, overweight and at a high risk of diabetes, walking can improve your body's ability to process sugar (glucose tolerance).
- Manage your diabetes. If you already have type 2 diabetes, taking part in a regular walking program can improve your body's ability to process sugar, lower your blood sugar, reduce your risk of heart disease and help you live longer.
- Manage your weight. Walking burns calories, which can help you manage your weight. For example, middle-aged women who walk more than 10,000 steps a day have lower levels of body fat than do women who are less active.
- Manage stress and boost your spirits. Going for a brisk walk is a great way to reduce stress. Regular walking also can reduce feelings of depression and anxiety.
- Stay strong and active. As you get older, walking for physical fitness can prevent falls, help you stay mobile and maintain your independence.
http://www.thewalkingsite.com/10000steps.html This site has TONS of information on walking, gear, nutrition, etc. Here is some on walking 10,000 steps.
Maybe you have heard the recent guidelines about walking 10,000 steps per day. How far is 10,000 steps anyway? The average person's stride length is approximately 2.5 feet long. That means it takes just over 2,000 steps to walk one mile, and 10,000 steps is close to 5 miles.
A sedentary person may only average 1,000 to 3,000 steps a day. For these people adding steps has many health benefits. I have outlined the basic 10,000 steps program, but also added a commentary below.
A reasonable goal for most people is to increase average daily steps each week by 500 per day until you can easily average 10,000 per day. Example: If you currently average 3000 steps each day, your goal for week one is 3500 each day. Your week 2 goal is 4000 each day. Continue to increase each week and you should be averaging 10,000 steps by the end of 14 weeks.
Wearing a pedometer is an easy way to track your steps each day. Start by wearing the pedometer every day for one week. Put it on when you get up in the morning and wear it until bed time. Record your daily steps in a log or notebook. By the end of the week you will know your average daily steps. You might be surprised how many (or how few) steps you get in each day.There are many ways to increase your daily steps. Use your imagination and come up with your own list:
Take a walk with your spouse, child, or friend
Walk the dog
Use the stairs instead of the elevator
Park farther from the store
Better yet, walk to the store
Get up to change the channel
Window shop
Plan a walking meeting
Walk over to visit a neighbor
Get outside to walk around the garden or do a little weeding
Continue to track your daily steps and/or mileage; and keep notes on how you feel, how your body is improving, or other changes you are making to improve your health.How does walking compare to running?
Walking can provide the same benefits as a running program. General health benefits are aquired from any walking. For cardio benefits the key is walking fast enough to get your heart rate up. Walkers may miss fewer days due to injury than runners while achieving similar improvements in aerobic conditioning.
Should I use hand weights while walking?
No! The risk far out weigh the benefits. Hand weights can be a great part of your fitness routine, but use them separate from your walk. Carrying weights will not provide the resistance needed to tone your muscles; but can increase your blood pressure, place strain on ligaments and tendons and may contribute to joint problems. You will actually be able to walk faster without carrying the weights, therefore getting a better workout. How can I prevent shin pain?
Aching shins is very common for new walkers. It can also be a problem when increasing speed or distance.
To avoid aching shins - Increase speed and distance gradually
Wear good, flexible, walking shoes with a low heel
Perform ankle circles and toe points before and after your walks
Stretch your calves and shins well after you walk
If you have shin pain now you may need to rest your shins by decreasing your mileage (and / or speed) for a few days. If it is very painful use the RICE method... rest, ice, compression, elevation (and ibuprofen works wonders).How many steps in a mile?
One mile is equal to 5280 feet. Most people say it takes about 2000 steps for every mile. Of course everyone's stride is different. An average stride is usually somewhere between 2 and 3 feet in length. So on average it takes between 1760 and 2640 steps to complete one mile.
To measure your stride mark a distance of 50 feet. Now walk this distance and count your steps. Divide 50 by the number of steps and that is your stride length. Now, divide 5280 by your stride length to find your "average steps per mile".What is considered a good fitness walking pace?
An average fitness walking pace is close to a 15 minute mile. But, a good pace will vary depending on your fitness level, walking technique, walking goals, and terrain. For general fitness walking you should walk at a pace that increases your heart rate, and you can maintain for 30 to 60 minutes. Use the talk test... if you can't speak without gasping for air you are walking too fast. If you are walking slow enough that you can carry a tune you are probably walking too slow.Great links:
Walking workouts http://walking.about.com/cs/fitnesswalking/a/walkworkouts.htm
Walking test calculator: http://walking.about.com/library/cal/ucrockport.htm
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Colon Assessment
Examination of the inner parts
There are 40 scriptures on Bowels in the word. The word bowel can mean intestine or inward parts, feelings of compassion, the seat of the emotions even the violent emotions of passion, anger and love as well as tender ones like kindness, benevolence and compassion; something deep inside; belly, bowels, heart, womb. When I am looking at this I think that the Lord lives in the inner parts of who we are. The word says that from our belly’s shall come rivers of living water. So having free flowing bowels would be quite important. This is where there is absorption of nutrition and a ridding of poisons.
As you will learn with the physical, it is so important to take care of your bowels, inner parts. Just because you see movement does not mean that there is true health.
1John 3:17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? Sounds like constipation to me J blocking the flow of life.
Col 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering.
Remarkably, in a future post I will explain how the bowels actually come from the same tissue as the brain and how they remain connected. Because of this stress can directly affect your bowels. I believe that the emotions and spirit are also directed connected to your bowels. Keep that in mind when reading this assessment.
1. Do you have a family history of polyps or colon cancer? If more than two generations have been affected, at least three members have suffered from the disease, and at least one was under 50, then your risk is increased by 66%. You are high risk and need regular testing. An easy test is called a Guiac Test, checks for blood in your stools. You can purchase this test or one similar in your local drug store/pharmacy. Because your risk for colon disease significantly increases after 50 a colonoscopy should be performed at this age or earlier if there is a history of colon cancer in your family.
2. Do you consume red meat more than 2 times a week? Diets rich in animal fats shoot up your risk of colon cancer: The American Cancer Society recommends limiting red meats and instead choosing 5 servings of fruits and veggies, which are high in anti-oxidants and decrease disease-causing inflammation. Other plant-sourced foods, including whole grains, brown rice, beans, seeds and nuts are great cancer fighters.
3. Do you use tobacco, alcohol or other drugs? Smokers are 30-40% more likely to die of colon cancer than non smokers. Colon cancer has also been linked to alcohol consumption, potentially because alcohol inhibits folic acid consumption.
4. Are you over the age of 50? More than 90% of individuals diagnosed with colorectal cancer are over the age of 50. Much of that is not due to age alone, but decades of constipation and poor diet finally yielding disease.
5. Are you overweight? Overweight always heightens cancer risk, but especially weight that gathers in your waist area (versus your hips and thighs). This fat has been proven to send Chemical signals that trigger inflammation, a known cause of cancer.
6. Do you have diabetes or a sedentary lifestyle? Colon cancer incidence is 50% higher in the diabetic population than in the non-diabetic world – and unfortunately, so is cancer mortality. It is noted that simply walking 20 minutes a day 4 days a week can reduce your risk for degenerative disease by 50%. That is huge. It is time to get walking. In fact, I have a Longest Walker challenge going on right now. Email me at drdeb@wilkshire.net to join us in better health.
7. Do you regularly have constipation or hardening of solid waste in your colon? Infrequent elimination means that the bacteria and toxins in your waste stay in your body longer; with regular constipation, those toxins can be reabsorbed into your body and give rise to gases and unhealthy organisms or parasites. It is a common misconception that just because you have frequent bowel movements that you are not constipated or that you completely eliminate your waste. I thought that and was sadly mistaken. The upper portion of my stomach kept getting bigger and bigger, very hard, not gushy like fat is. I gained 50 pounds all the while asking my medical doctor what was happening. You know what he told me? I ate too much. Hello!?! I had very little appetite and was becoming very sick, sore – achy – swollen joints, increased heart rate, flushed, short of breath, stomach pain all the time. Nothing showed up on the CT scan or colonoscopy. One exam my MD finally said, it feels like there is a lot of stool in here. YAY!!!! FINALLY an answer. No wonder, all the toxins had build up and were having a party in my blood stream and joints. After many detox’s, colon hydrotherapy, cleanses, walking and herbs . I have lost 27 pounds and feel so much better. My problem is actually a spastic colon and not the mysterious “irritable bowel syndrome”.
8. Do you have bloating, gas or excessive fullness after meals? Gas is a strong warning sign that food isn’t being broken down properly, meaning you have inadequate digestive enzymes or insufficient stomach acid. I will go into to this in more detail in the next issue.
9. Do you have pain in the lower esophagus with swallowing? Esophageal spasm or “Achalasia” is typical due to recurrent acid reflux from the stomach. Low digestive enzymes and between meal stomach acidity, as well as poor diet, are leading causes of this disorder.
10. Do you have “Acid Heartburn” feeling in your stomach, with or without meals? This is a sign of stomach lining fragility, typically from persistent acidity in the stomach between meals and is a sign of digestive enzyme deficiency. This imbalance is most often caused by overeating highly processed foods.
11. Does your stool “float” or appear greasy? This indicates a malabsorption of fats. This is a key indicator that the lipase enzymes from the pancreas are not digesting fats well.
12. Does your stool contain large pieces of undigested food? Again, this symptom is consistent with inadequate enzymes (usually those found in fibrous veggies) and from eating too fast. Chew chew chew your food. Many necessary enzymes you need to break down food are located in your saliva. Beside that, how about actually enjoying the feast inside of letting it slide past the taste buds. We do that way too often with the word of God also. It is like Fast Food with no satisfaction.
13. Do you ever have bloody or black colored stool? Either of these is a strong warning of a bleeding ulcer. Bloody stool indicates a duodenal ulcer; black stool indicates a stomach ulcer: in both cases, unhealthy bacteria are typically also present and must be treated. Don’t play around with this issue, please have it checked out.
14. Do you have painful bowel movements (with or without blood)? This may be caused by rectal inflammation (procotitis), a fissure, or external hemorrhoid. Diseased rectal tissue can be very painful and a symptom of colitis and Crohn’s disease. There are nutritional and natural answers to hemorrhoids and Crohns disease. If I don’t address this in the next issue or 2 please remind me at drdeb@wilkshire.net
15. Do you have lower intestinal cramping associated with meals? This common symptom must not be ignored – it indicates irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, or at least the weakened tissue that makes you susceptible to one of these diseases.
16. Do you get a runny or stuffy nose during or after meals? A classic sign of food allergy. Your runny nose may be an outward sign of what is happening to the tissues inside your body: intestinal lining, like your nasal passages, may be swollen and irritated. Regular inflammation is highly damaging and may prevent the absorption of nutrients.
For every “Yes” answer you provided, your risk for digestive disease (and hence degenerative disease in general) rises. If you have several “yes” answers, you are already showing symptoms of a disorder that may lead to even more serious diseases, including cancer.
Now it is time to learn the Untold Truth and defend yourself against the damage of the digestive system. My next post will be on Colon in Crises with 5 untold truths and what you can easily do to make changes in your health.
Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. I always feel
like you have to pee but most of the time, when I stand at the toilet
I wait and wait and finally nothing comes out.
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy,
you can't even move your bowels anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran,
you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out!"
"Actually," said the 90-year-old, "Ninety is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
"Nope” responded the 90-year old. “Not really. I pee every morning at 6:00 sharp.
I am quite regular. No problem at all in that department."
"Do you have trouble moving your bowels?" asked the 70-year old.
"No, I move ‘em every morning at 6:30 sharp. I am very regular there too."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight.
You pee every morning at 6:00 and move your bowels every morning at 6:30.
So what's so tough about being 90?"
The 90 year old shrugged his weary shoulders and quietly responded:
"The problem is that I don't wake up until 7:00."
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About Me
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chiropractor, interested in nutrition, rehab, postural stabilization, elimination of parasites in all forms. I love to see people healed spirit, body, mind.



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